everyday people think about their lifes
but how many of them can actually change it
every year i lose people,and every year the number is increasing

zenna,jeri,godma (forever..),prase,lynette(contactmewhenyou'reout)
d,v,wy,z,j,g,r,h,n,d,r and still counting on.

sorry that i don have the courage to write any of your full name
i miss every single one of you here.and i really want to thank kor for always being
there for me, no matter what when i need you,you're always there.
other then j and n ,you're the person who understands me most. even though you're not like them, can feel what im feeling even without asking,but you bother to care.and everytime no matter what ,you wont leave me alone. i remember i caused you to quarrel with j but yet instead of blaming me you asked if im okay. you may not be my real brother/godbrother but to me you're a big korkor. i know i don deserve to have such treatment from anyone but yet you care abt me so much even when i do you wrong. as to the few of you who treats me good,i appreciate. but no matter what,noone will replace kor.im sorry that i don tell anyone anything,keeping everything to myself everytime. im sorry that i don trust anyone, sorry that i don want to be very close to anyone. but i guess all of you knows why,i really don want to fall over and over and this is the only way i can stop it.im sure all of you knows how much i've fall before and how terrible i get when i lose anyone at all esp someone important. im sorry that i refuse to accept anyone into my life. cause somehow i know,no matter how good you guys are, each and every of you have did things behind me before. i know that, i know everything,but i just don say it out. some of you may think that i do not care about you guys anymore,i know . i still care but i just donwant to show. i don want to be there for anyone cause i will only strt to treasure that person more and end up losing that person,it always happens, and im tired,really tired. im sorry that im such a loser.

its been such a long time since i rant so much,
don have to think about which part you play in my life
cause it doesnt matter. felicia,what is she? a trash from the dump.

let it be the last time i rant.
i know myself well enough, and have said enough
nothing will happen anyway.
go, read your books.